Christmas Holiday Child Arrangements
Christmas is just around the corner and if you are a separating family, you may be worried about the arrangements for the children during the Christmas period.
Christmas holiday arrangements
More than any other time, Christmas can be difficult for newly separated families who naturally want to spend as much time with their children as possible. If you do not have plans arranged, now is the time to start. Talk to your solicitor now so they can help you to plan and agree to a timetable with your ex-partner. This may be spending some of the Christmas holidays with you and some time with your ex-partner or maybe even the whole of the festive period with one parent and the next year with the other parent. The decision can depend on what works best for your family, your children’s ages, and your location.
If you are separated from your partner and you are not hosting Christmas you may feel as though everyone else is enjoying family festivities, but you feel isolated and alone. But it may be possible to come to an informal agreement with your ex-partner so that everyone is happy over the festive period. If you are not going to see your children on Christmas Day, see if you can make arrangements with your friends or other family members so you will not be alone.
Grandparents
This situation can also affect grandparents who may be unlikely to see their grandchildren at Christmas. Like the non-resident parent, grandparents could try to organize a special day, or a time around Christmas, when they could give their grandchildren presents and spend some quality time with them.
Focus on the Children
It is important to focus on the children and make the new type of Christmas positive for them as they may have two sets of presents and two types of Christmas day. Ask them what they would like, especially if they are older. Share the plans with your children so they will know what is planned for the holiday. Maybe even create a wall calendar to illustrate what you have planned.
Make sure that the time that you spend with your children over Christmas is special. Many separated parents try to outdo each other, which could lead to stress and disappointment. Similarly, non-resident parents sometimes feel that they must compete with their child’s other parent when it comes to buying presents. When one parent is spending a large amount on expensive gifts, or taking the children on a costly holiday, the other parent may feel that he or she cannot offer the same amount.
Sometimes your ex-partner is unreliable or may not even want to see his or her children over the festive period. It can be heartbreaking to explain that the other parent will not be visiting over Christmas, but it will be kinder if you remain positive and try not to criticize him or her too much in front of the children, no matter how angry you feel.
Are you being fair to the other parent?
If you are newly separated it may be very difficult to not spend the whole of the Christmas holidays with your children. Are you happy with the proposed plans for this year and next? Is there anything that needs to be reconsidered? Are the plans fair to both of you so you both see the children for a fair amount of time? If not, maybe you should reconsider the plans. Communication is vital so that you do not duplicate presents for your children.
What happens if plans change?
Sometimes plans may have to be changed but last-minute changes can cause feelings of disruption and uncertainty for children. Flexibility is often an essential part of child arrangements; however, it is important to maintain consistency and provide stability for your children.
Get advice early
It is important to seek advice early in the run-up to Christmas as the season can be a busy time and organizing a co-parenting schedule may not be easy especially if you find it hard to talk to your ex-partner. We are here to help and if you are struggling to put plans in place this year, please talk to one of our family lawyers who can assist in negotiating an agreement between you. We are happy to help you to resolve any issues regarding your arrangements for your children and Christmas. Please contact us on 01492 874774.